Things were different back in the ’70s and ’80s. (Yes, I’m that old.) When two people had a strong disagreement, one would tell the other to meet at some location after school, and fisticuffs would ensue. These events usually drew a crowd as everyone wanted to see the action. I witnessed some bloody noses and black eyes a few times. But here’s the thing, nine times out of ten, the two who came to blows usually ended up as friends, or at least they had a newfound respect for one another. My, how the times have changed.
We’ve all likely canceled someone before, at least in your mind’s eye. For example, you may have encountered a rude cashier and decided to avoid going through their line again. Or you met someone You felt was obnoxious and decided they were not the type of person you wanted to be around. There’s nothing wrong with avoiding the kind of people with whom you have personality conflicts. We all make choices about who we let into our lives. But when we cancel someone because we’re mad at them and don’t try to reconcile, that’s the behavior that has led to today’s cancel culture.
When we choose not to reconcile, negativity festers until we desire to feed the conflict by doing something harmful to the person of our vexation. The state of the world today is even worse in that reconciliation is not even an option when we disagree. Canceling someone is no more just a personal boycott against someone because they made you mad. Cancel culture says that you have to make everyone else despise them as well. You have to destroy everything in their lives until they have no hope of finding happiness again. You may even go so far as to tell them to die because they shouldn’t be alive anyway.
John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”
The purpose of cancel culture is to destroy someone, and it comes from the pit of Hell. If there is one sin more destructive than all the rest, I would say it was selfishness. And it’s selfishness that is behind cancel culture. What you think, believe, or feel is more important than what anyone else thinks, believes, or feels. If they don’t agree with you, then you have to cancel them and make sure everyone else cancels them, too. It’s all about self.
2 Timothy 3:1–2 (ESV): “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of SELF….”
I think “difficulty” is an understatement. But Paul nailed it when he said that people would love themselves. Selfishness is running rampant today.
The second half of John 10:10 says, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Selfish people think they are creating the abundant life they crave. But selfishness only builds a prison of undoing. It destroys everything around you. An abundance of life only works when we get rid of self and put others first.
So, where does that leave us?
If the Messiah came to give us life and we are supposed to imitate the Messiah (see 1 Corinthians 11:1 and 1 John 2:6), then how can we participate in canceling someone because we disagree? There is nothing wrong with disagreeing. But we need to learn to agree to disagree rather than trying to negate someone when we disagree. As a guy I know likes to say, we can still break bread together.
But if you are the one to be canceled, understand that there may be nothing you can do. You can’t force someone to be friendly. But we can show grace and continue to be cordial to them. Never return rejection with rejection, and don’t engage with sparing words. Be polite, be congenial, and be above reproach.
Matthew 5:44 (ESV): “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
