I never took speech or debate in high school. That was my brother’s thing. But through the years, I’ve found that I like debate very much and have spent way too many hours in debates on social media. From those experiences I’ve learned a lot about myself, the personality of others, and the dangers of social media and what we’ve become because of it.
Social media is probably the worst place for debating for two reasons, aside from the formal rules of debate being absent in that forum. For starters, you can’t hear the tone or inflection in someone’s voice or see their body language while presenting their arguments or asking questions. Both of these are integral for meaningful conversation. Maybe I should point out that the purpose of debate is for two parties to present the views of two sides of an issue, which is for the audience’s benefit. From there, the audience can decide which side of the argument they believe is more valid. However, while debates on social media may have an audience from those reading the dialogue between the parties, they essentially are two people trying to converse.
Without hearing the words spoken, the reader can misconstrue the written words. The next thing you know, you are in an argument with someone with whom you agree. And those arguments can get heated, more so if you are in disagreement.
The second reason that social media is the worst place to have a debate is probably an even bigger problem, and that is anonymity. Anonymity breeds boldness. Behind the safety of our screens, we can say things to strangers that we may not dare say to their faces. Things can get ugly fast. Ad hominem seems to be the go-to in social media debates these days. It’s sad.
Anonymity also allows us to be someone else or more than we are. How would the other person know? Let’s back up to conversations in general. Most people tend to listen to respond rather than listen to learn or understand. We tend to listen to someone while formulating what we will say next. Sometimes it’s harmless, just trying to join in on the conversation and carry it on by adding a story of your own, but we’re still not hearing what the other person is saying. Sometimes it’s a little more malicious because you’re trying to think of a better story than the person you are talking to so you can one-up them. Both are harmful to meaningful conversation. Now add anonymity to the mix, and not listening to what the other person is saying becomes worse on social media.
There is a logical fallacy called an appeal to authority. It is when you use the opinion of some expert as evidence to prove your point hoping that the other person won’t question it because it’s from an authority. Through anonymity, we can make ourselves out to be the authority. So if you are not listening while also trying to be an authority on the subject, you are not having a conversation. And if both sides are doing this, it’s just two boastful people trying to convince the other person they are wrong.
I don’t spend much time on social media these days. It’s gotten boring. I can’t remember the last time I debated someone, though I do remember the debate. It’s the reason for this post and mainly the reason I started this site. We had both made some statements and rebuttals, but my last comment was a waste of time for the other guy. He flat-out told me that he didn’t read it. He restated his position, and that was that. He wasn’t interested in what I had to say. I was dumbfounded. The debate was over before it got started. The other guy had all the answers and wasn’t interested in another point of view. I pondered that strange reaction for some time and then started thinking back to several other debates I’ve had over the years and came to a conclusion.
If you read my first post, then you know that we all need a paradigm shift. No one wants to hear that what they believe is not true. That may be the single most reason why we tend to listen to respond rather than to understand. We don’t want to understand because it might mean we’d have to reevaluate what it is that we believe and make a change. No one likes change. Change is uncomfortable and most people want to stay in their comfort zone.
Here’s the takeaway. You don’t know everything. Nobody does. 1 Corinthians 13:12 shows that we don’t know everything because we’re looking through a dark glass. We can’t see everything, so we can’t know everything. Some things are hidden from us. Some things we just haven’t learned yet. Some things are fearful to us and we don’t want to know. Whatever it is, our duty in life is to keep growing through learning. Sometimes that means listening to someone you disagree with to hear what they are saying and not just to respond. If you disagree with their position, then ask questions to better understand where they are coming from rather than just counteracting with your own position. You may still disagree in the end, but at least you will understand them better, and it may even strengthen what you believe.
Until all is revealed in the end, we will still look through a dark glass and not know everything. And we will always have disagreements. Just don’t let them turn into fruitless arguments where you’re talking over one another. Don’t fear disagreements, learn from them.
